therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
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