real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
We need to rekindle our bromance
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
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I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
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Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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