can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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