Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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