When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
No subtext here. People are naked.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Randomize
