I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
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