Screwed.edu
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
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