Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
