if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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