There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
