Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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