I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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