i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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