Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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