Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
we're so committed to being not committed
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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