i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
