she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
The air taste purple.
Randomize
