I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
