Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
17 year olds will be the death of me.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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