this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
ttyl tear gas
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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