It's like a parade of train wrecks.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
My ass is underappreciated
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
