The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
