Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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