trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
