I want to stick my p in your. b.
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
