the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
