All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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