woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Randomize
