just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
