you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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