I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
