Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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