That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
