Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
