My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Randomize
