Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
There's always time for handjobs
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
