I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
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