whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I would fuck him just for his dog
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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