Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
whose parrot is this?
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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