Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Barsexuality is the new black.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
