I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
