so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
our cab driver is having phone sex.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
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