We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
It's official drugs can't kill me
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
