Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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