You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
