All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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