so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
