I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
