Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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