I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
You've changed since you got that strap on
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
