I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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