Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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