If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
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