life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
