Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
