I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
