Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
