i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
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he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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