we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
