My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
